My younger self must have been insane to think that putting rv as the top choice when she was choosing schools was a good choice. It’s the last year already, and usually people start to get a bit nostalgic, but i’m still the same, hating where I’m stuck at. And today just confirmed it.

This whole series of lessons is so hypocritical. The school rules state that we can’t be in relationships (riiight… who does that any more? Is this even a JC? are we even 18 in the school’s eyes? Even the law says that we should be treated as adults already, and the school doesn’t even trust with our personal relationshps? Ridiculous). and yet, they are teaching us about marriage and all that crap, which is at least 5 years away. What gives??? there isn’t even the first step taken yet and you already want us to plan out who we would want to commit to for the rest of our lives?) 

Secondly, what the hell is with the questions LOL. What wedding song do you want? what kind of marriage do you want? Does it look like I have the time to sit around and draw up the ballroom that my wedding is going to be held in, decide the tablecloth colour and the kind of ambience I want?) Freaking ridiculous.  What kind of marriage do I want?? Lol what if I don’t even want to get married ( okay I do) but what the hell why are you forcing me to tell you what I want in a relationship. Especially not to a room full of strangers. That’s just bullshit if you think I’m going to be open and spill my heart to the world. I’m sorry but you’re going to have to find some other clueless teenager to probe. 

8 more months before I’m out. I can do this. I can do this. 




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If there’s one major pet peeve I have it would be being bossed around. Like although you may be right or whatever, but if that tone comes across from you, you can expect me to be pretty pissed when I’m doing it. I’m sorry but I don’t owe you anything, why the hell do I have to listen to the bs that you say? 

What gives you the right to make me feel so invalidated anyway? It’s just stupid on your part if you think I’m going to be all sunshine and butterflies if you try to tell me what to do. Sorry, it’ll just put me in a very frosty mood and you can basically forget talking to me for a while

I don’t know if I’ve ever brought it up before, but the idea of leaving is one that has constantly appealed to me. Like dumping everything and running off somewhere. Once in a while, I’ll let myself bask in the idea that it is actually feasible to leave for a happier place, until I realize, oh, right I can’t. And the only reason why travel is so tempting is because I don’t actually live in that society with their standards. but hey, a girl can dream right?

Valentines day was on Friday, and well, obviously I would feel like complete shit. Good job trying to change the name to friendship( it’s not working HAHA) Idk why this year it seemed even more melancholic then other years. My mum said that I wouldn’t know since I’ve never ‘been on the other side of the fence’. But yeah, it still didn’t stop me from feeling sorry for myself when I saw couples walking around when I went outside. And listening to sad love songs was not helping my situation at all. whatever, when the time comes, it’ll come. Until then, I shall enjoy my current status quo. 

Oh and hyosung is so cute in that drama heehee, freaking girl crush on her 😀

Dreams Too Beautiful To Wake From

Mindless Productivity

I like dreams.

Dreams of success. Dreams of love. Dreams of being a hero. Dream of sex. Dreams of stepping into a secret world of wonder, adventure, and beauty.

I used to believe in dreams because I thought they would come true. And I thought that in coming true, they would be just like the fantasies I’d concocted.

Then I got older, and realized dreams don’t really come true like that. Dreams can come true, of course, but they’re no longer dreams, just another slice of reality. A tastier slice than usual, maybe, but still prone to the faults and shortcomings of all the rest.

So I said, “Screw dreams!” and decided to become a Rational Man. A Rational Man that didn’t go in for any of that nonsense because it isn’t true, it just isn’t true. And I became a bony-hearted, bitter-boned, cold-fingered, cynical-toothed Rational Man. And I was…

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Cos you’re real like a mermaid’s toes

I’ve been listening to a playlist of chinese songs (i know, big surprise right?). When I first clicked play, I wasn’t really expecting much. Whenever I go actively search out chinese songs, they always seem to suck. So I was so surprised that the songs in this playlist somehow tugged at my heart in one or another.

Somehow they seem to capture a raw emotion that songs in other languages can’t seem to do. Okay, maybe it’s only the classics (as I’ve once heard them being referred to as) that have the ability to do that. Hopefully, this will be a successful first step into the foray of chinese music. I am quite out of touch with all things Chinese, which is something I kind of want to change. This is an utterly meaningless post,but oh well this is probably the most noteworthy thing that happened all day (besides the coffee date and doing meaningless crap for 2 hours for gp) 

can someone give me recommendations on songs HAHA. 



okay maybe I can make this post interesting after all by ranting. I feel like my eloquence level increases when I get angry but anyway I’m sidetracking. 

I think my class is publicly at war with another class. Like, the both classes are making their dislike for each other plain as day. But really? That thing today was such an immature thing to do.

First, our class came into the library first so why don’t you gtfo if you’re pissed off about the noise that we’re making?

Second, any organism with a brain can tell that we’re doing group work, are we supposed to communicate telepathically? 

Third, LOL THE LIBRARY IS F**KING EMPTY IF YOU CAN’T STAND US JUST MOVE SOMEWHERE ELSE. Like the discussions rooms were free, you could have moved inside there to bitch about us or whatever. 

Yeah, so that class is ridiculous and I don’t really like most of the people inside anyway I totally do not feel bad for being ‘noisy’ 



 -a tumblr post i saw

It’s the time of night when my demons come out to play and I get so consumed by my thoughts that it seems like life isn’t ever going to get better and i want to wish it away. I’m not a person who can make friends easily. I get by, I suppose. I feel that in many of my previous classes, I could somehow drop out of one clique and move to another? I never saw how it was supposed to be a permanent thing that you would kind of get stuck in for the duration of time that you were in the class. My mentality was that if I was unhappy, then I would get up and go. 

The thing is, uprooting myself over and over again didn’t give me time to let my roots grow deep. I can count the number of friends that don’t feel awkward with if it were just the two of us on one hand. And now I’m thinking if that was the right way to treat them, to just leave them behind(sort of). Maybe if we had weathered the storm together, our friendship would be much stronger now. 

I don’t keep in touch with the people from my primary school at all, I know some people still organise regular outings with their pri school cliques and what not. My secondary 1& 2 class, well some of them are my closest friends and some have drifted really far. I didn’t realise it during Year 3 and 4, but looking back i think, what a blessing a select bunch of people are. And now, year 6, sure, I think I’ve made some friendships that can probably last past RV. 

It’s the final year in RV and that seems to put an expiration date on all my friendships, so maybe that’s why I feel this way. 

Look at me being a freaking 8 year old and spazzing over the preview-THE EFFING PREVIEW. I’ll probably internally combust when the full video comes out. I really need to get a life LOL


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Don’t care about reputation

Bitch did you just insult my class so publicly? You have a whole other thing coming if you think that you can insult the people in my class just because they are noisy/bimbotic/whatever crap you can think up of. people like you, who spend their days seething on the internet, and writing nasty little commentaries without having the guts to say it to our faces make me want to laugh. Really now? Your’e gonna loathe our class for making a horse with those boxes and the ang baos? GUESS WHAT? Do you know the number of classes I have seen since then that have been using the same idea??? yours looks ridiculous might I add, it’s chinese new year, not cartoon network.  

What is it? Are you jealous that we can have a good time even during lectures that are crappy as hell and you’re looking around thinking fml where are all the enjoyable people, i want to be let in on the party also… well boohoo little miss whiny. god, I can’t believe i used to think you were cool.