today was a good day. and I haven’t had one of those in a while. It actually seemed pretty normal, but today I felt lucky, and happy. First, I’ve finally gotten school out of my hair for a while (this whole term was hell), second, I finally got my IC back. third, I just bought a murakami book and gdi his writing is awesome. Maybe I actually like his non-fiction better than his fiction works, but then again I breezed through Norwegian wood. Idk why it seemed like today was a good day. it was pretty ordinary, but I suppose on a scale as compared to some of the really horrible days that I’ve had this year, my overall mood just felt a whole lot lighter? Maybe things are finally going to start picking up for me from now on 🙂

come to think of it, no, no i am not okay that you decided that i would be okay with being the only one in class who would receive a squeaky clean piece of paper. Really? you couldn’t even put in the effort to help me with that? everyone else were helping people who they weren’t even that close to pen it down and you couldn’t even lift your pen to help me? pfft. It’s a small issue but it just goes to show how much you really mean to people i suppose /shrugs/

wow it’s like the vapid disappointment just seems to follow me around everywhere I go eh? Today’s tests were horrible, and that’s an understatement. Right up till the last half and hour of the paper, I was still contemplating if I should change my topic. The words just weren’t flowing right, I wasn’t expressing myself like I wanted and well, I was basically putting up something that I wasn’t even remotely proud of. Gdi I was seriously considering just setting it aside and failing the paper in order to sleep for the rest of the exam. 

There’s only one more paper left for the term. I can do this. I will persevere through the crappiest thing in my life as of now- aka chemistry, and I’ll make myself proud. 

I wonder if in some way, the way that I started to act in year 3 and 4, being too timid to ask questions will ultimately hinder me in the long run. whether I will ever become comfortable with voicing what I think and not being afraid to make mistakes