BEST FRIENDS YOU DON’T GET TO TALK TO VERY OFTEN BC YOU’RE BOTH JUST REALLY BUSY WITH SCHOOL OR WHATEVER BUT ITS NOT A BIG DEAL BC YOURE STILL THE BEST OF FRIENDS NO MATTER WHAT, ARE THE BEST KINDS OF FRIENDS IN THE WHOLE WORLD
-a tumblr post i saw
It’s the time of night when my demons come out to play and I get so consumed by my thoughts that it seems like life isn’t ever going to get better and i want to wish it away. I’m not a person who can make friends easily. I get by, I suppose. I feel that in many of my previous classes, I could somehow drop out of one clique and move to another? I never saw how it was supposed to be a permanent thing that you would kind of get stuck in for the duration of time that you were in the class. My mentality was that if I was unhappy, then I would get up and go.
The thing is, uprooting myself over and over again didn’t give me time to let my roots grow deep. I can count the number of friends that don’t feel awkward with if it were just the two of us on one hand. And now I’m thinking if that was the right way to treat them, to just leave them behind(sort of). Maybe if we had weathered the storm together, our friendship would be much stronger now.
I don’t keep in touch with the people from my primary school at all, I know some people still organise regular outings with their pri school cliques and what not. My secondary 1& 2 class, well some of them are my closest friends and some have drifted really far. I didn’t realise it during Year 3 and 4, but looking back i think, what a blessing a select bunch of people are. And now, year 6, sure, I think I’ve made some friendships that can probably last past RV.
It’s the final year in RV and that seems to put an expiration date on all my friendships, so maybe that’s why I feel this way.