kawaii-twerking:

BEST FRIENDS YOU DON’T GET TO TALK TO VERY OFTEN BC YOU’RE BOTH JUST REALLY BUSY WITH SCHOOL OR WHATEVER BUT ITS NOT A BIG DEAL BC YOURE STILL THE BEST OF FRIENDS NO MATTER WHAT, ARE THE BEST KINDS OF FRIENDS IN THE WHOLE WORLD

 -a tumblr post i saw

It’s the time of night when my demons come out to play and I get so consumed by my thoughts that it seems like life isn’t ever going to get better and i want to wish it away. I’m not a person who can make friends easily. I get by, I suppose. I feel that in many of my previous classes, I could somehow drop out of one clique and move to another? I never saw how it was supposed to be a permanent thing that you would kind of get stuck in for the duration of time that you were in the class. My mentality was that if I was unhappy, then I would get up and go. 

The thing is, uprooting myself over and over again didn’t give me time to let my roots grow deep. I can count the number of friends that don’t feel awkward with if it were just the two of us on one hand. And now I’m thinking if that was the right way to treat them, to just leave them behind(sort of). Maybe if we had weathered the storm together, our friendship would be much stronger now. 

I don’t keep in touch with the people from my primary school at all, I know some people still organise regular outings with their pri school cliques and what not. My secondary 1& 2 class, well some of them are my closest friends and some have drifted really far. I didn’t realise it during Year 3 and 4, but looking back i think, what a blessing a select bunch of people are. And now, year 6, sure, I think I’ve made some friendships that can probably last past RV. 

It’s the final year in RV and that seems to put an expiration date on all my friendships, so maybe that’s why I feel this way. 

Look at me being a freaking 8 year old and spazzing over the preview-THE EFFING PREVIEW. I’ll probably internally combust when the full video comes out. I really need to get a life LOL

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Don’t care about reputation

Bitch did you just insult my class so publicly? You have a whole other thing coming if you think that you can insult the people in my class just because they are noisy/bimbotic/whatever crap you can think up of. people like you, who spend their days seething on the internet, and writing nasty little commentaries without having the guts to say it to our faces make me want to laugh. Really now? Your’e gonna loathe our class for making a horse with those boxes and the ang baos? GUESS WHAT? Do you know the number of classes I have seen since then that have been using the same idea??? yours looks ridiculous might I add, it’s chinese new year, not cartoon network.  

What is it? Are you jealous that we can have a good time even during lectures that are crappy as hell and you’re looking around thinking fml where are all the enjoyable people, i want to be let in on the party also… well boohoo little miss whiny. god, I can’t believe i used to think you were cool. 

Why does my mood fluctuate so much during the course of one day? it’s exhausting having to feel this way. The day was supposed to be so nice and all, with minimal school things to do, plus I had something to look forward to. It was so nice until evening fell. Then my mood just went to hell. Sometimes I just want to curl into a ball and hide away from the world. Having to deal with human interactions and having to always somehow place the other person’s thoughts ahead of yours and yet still remain sane is wearing me out.  I swear, nothing in my life is going right at this moment. There’s a effing maths test coming up which i probably will fail, my friends are well… no comment on that. and then my mum decides that this will be the perfect time not to care about me at all and leave me to my own devices. How wonderful this is. 

And me listening to sad songs is not helping my mood. fuck. 

Is it some skill that girls acquire along the way to be snide about things? I don’t see guys doing it but girls tend to make really undermining remarks.. And the worst part is that it takes a while for the insult to register, only after thinking back about the conversation for a while will I realise that someone just made fun of me.

Like gosh, if you want to say some insults about me, why not say it to my face?Why do you have to sugarcoat it? what? to keep up false pretenses that we’re semi-friends? Cos I really don’t need you in my life if you’re going to keep being so stupid and thinking that I’ll just laugh it off. Guess what? it’s year 6 and I’m going to be really snarky if you rub me the wrong way.