People Are Already Dead

Thought Catalog

I feel like there is band tightening around my head. It becomes tighter and tighter as I wake up for morning every day. I can’t seem to figure out what my problems are. I think people are generally already dead. I wonder how many people will attend my funeral.

I feel aimless. I feel hollow. There seems to be nothing left in me. I wonder about the countless bodies buried in cemeteries and the unmarked graves beyond forests and city lines. I go on dating websites, but despondency takes me away. I bury myself in a deep pool and wed myself to sorrow. It’s the only time I think about how human I am. I think about how fragile and poor we all are—especially me. I think
about the damning things I’ve said and the ill-judged actions…

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