until our hearts become white-dyed
It’s been a tough week. All the fluctuating emotions, the highs and lows. Next week is going to be our last week of school, and our level deserves this break. We have all been so highly strung up over the year, torn down by results and friends and we’ve had to put ourselves back piece by piece a million times over.
I think, this holiday I am going to do something different. In past years, I would always crave to go out at any possible chance I could. Sure I lounged around at home also, but a good part of my time was spent outside. This holiday, I am going to spend a lot of time with myself. I’ve been doing that quite a lot recently. My phone isn’t connected, my laptop is off and I read. That’s it. It’ll give me some time to ponder about things and find myself again in the clutter that has been my life. In the past year, I’ve made so many rapid changes that I can’t even remember who I was just a year ago already. I kind of want to find that girl again. The one who was more confident and didn’t have to retract her statements because it sounded wrong and pretentious when it came out of her mouth.
After PW, people can forget about finding me for a week or so, just to let people have a head’s up.
I saw this quote recently: “If there were no mistakes some people wouldn’t be born”. Which I think is quite apt to some of our groups’ situations recently. People aren’t pulling their fair share of the work, and it is so unfair. If I were in that group I would have complained a thousand fold over already. Why is it that some people are just like this, they suck and they just can’t be bothered to fix their flaws.
It was a wrong move to give humans free will. That’s my honest opinion. Why else would there be so much suffering and misery in the world.
It is 12:40 and I am wide awake. I shall go read till I am sleepy. G’night.