Let it fizzle at the bottom of a coke can

One more day of hell to go… i can do this ( i think). 

I need to study, and yet I really need to vent about this issue as well. You cannot expect everybody to please you. It is not our job to do so. Hell, I don’t even think it’s your future boyfriend/husband’s job to do that 24/7. 

Not all of us came from classes that were known ( practically infamous) for being loud. You can’t expect everybody to be high and us people have lives too. If I prioritize say, my old class over you, then you’ll just have to deal with it. I can’t go on anymore pretending that I’m some nice person- that I’ll let you push over me and then I’ll still smile at you because here’s a big fuck you to you. 

It’s been 9 months. I am so bloody tired of you being so noisy -EVERYWHERE. Grow up okay, even if the lecturer is incompetent to you, some of us might still be able to partially absorb some stuff you selfish little brat. 

1 more year. 

I more year and I’m out of this hell hole. I am never coming back, not ever. 

[side note: teal is a very glaring colour on my nails :p]

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To Get Out, Get Out Of Your Phone

Thought Catalog

I never read your airplane ticket Instagram. I don’t really care where you’re going. If the whole reason you’re going on a trip is to “get away” and be “less available”, then stop being so available and get away from your phone.

The act of staring at a 568×320 pixel screen in a room of friends is almost the same as being inside your phone. In your phone, friends are just 2D figures with hands on their hips and their arms in the air, their funny 2D tweets, and their status updates.

If you are inside your phone while you’re “getting away” you are not even on the airplane — I DON’T CARE. Technically, I already know where you are, what you’re doing, who you’re with and what food you’re eating. I didn’t need to go to the far side of the Santa Monica pier to feel like I was already there…

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O captain! My Captain!

I just finished dead poet’s society. I’ve been meaning to watch it for the longest time and since I’ve accomplished what I wanted to do today, hey why not. That movie is one of the most brilliant things I’ve seen in a long while. The casting of the characters is impeccable, the cinematography so flawless (really makes me curse that singapore is in the tropics)

But obviously the thing that shone through the rest was the message behind the film. Probably every teen that has run into a wall, hated something in their life but was powerless to change it can relate to the show. Adults underestimate us. We’re dumb, foolish in their minds, too immature to think for ourselves that we have to conform to whatever it is they want to mold us into.

And we, lack the power ( and maybe the resources) to get out of the labyrinth of suffering that we seem to be perpetually caught in. The only thing we have is this one life- some of us clinging by a thread. And so, if we’re backed into a corner, that’s the one thing we really have control over.

And to be honest, I’ve felt like utter crap for the past few years, who knows how many times I’ve thought about how nice it would be to sleep forever. I’ve always thought that phrases like ‘it gets better’ were in a sense, utter bs. Because it doesn’t make things any better at the current moment, and if someone gets his hopes up too high, then they might come crashing back down- hard.

I have no idea what this post is about, there’s completely no direction to it. I suppose it’s just a random jumble of things in my head

3 Things You Feel When You’re Directionless And Lost

the first and second are practically everyday life by now

Thought Catalog

Lost

You diverge from the usual road once, and your life is thrown off course. You fail to find the way, so you just wander. When you’re lost, the world is a maze and you live for the moment, praying – possibly knowing – that one fine day you’ll find your way back to normalcy. Crept by the howls of voices, piercing chills, that gush you numb with their words and thoughts that fuel your insecurities. Around you it gets darker and darker, and you realise how terrifying solitude is when all you need is someone to guide you home. Your world gets so bitingly cold and alone.

Alone

Humans are social beings, aren’t they? Knowing you’re by yourself drives you insane. Confusion sets in more drastically. You need someone to take you by the hand, hold you close, tell you that everything will be okay and they’re by your…

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My Rant On Formal Education

YES THIS

Thought Catalog

While on the F Line in San Francisco, I overheard a man telling a stranger he had just met how “You need to go to college in this day in age. With this economy, there isn’t any way you’re going to find a job and make any money without a college degree.  What are you going to do? Work in a coffee shop? They don’t make any money.” This struck a nerve with me.

I hate when people tell other people what they can or can’t do — that they have to do this, in order to accomplish that.  We should all know by now that there is no set formula for success.  Of course there are formulas to accomplish certain tasks and goals which have been proven to work. But success itself cannot be converted into a simple equation simply because its definition is different to each and every person.

Yes, education is…

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Pickles and pasta

Yes that is a reference to B.A.P’s coffee shop, although I promised myself that I wouldn’t make this wordpress into a fangirl sort of thing. But hey, that song is jazz and it’s soothing for my soul. 

I’ve been meaning to blog for the longest time, but I can’t phrase the words properly. The flaws of writing fanfiction I suppose, every word has to be perfect.  

Lately it has been the time of the year where everybody turns into mindless zombies that cram information into their heads again I suppose. And yet, I find myself so distanced from it all. Don’t get me wrong, I get a panic attack every time I think about how close I am to being retained. Okay to be honest, maybe I’m lazy, maybe I can’t be bothered with life anymore. 

It is quite fucked up a system I think, to assume that we’re old enough to handle the immense stress that stems from all these exams ;everyone dying a little bit inside when they open up a book; and yet at the same time not qualifying us as adults who can do things independently. 

I have no idea where I get the strength to be this angsty. 

I can’t believe this but I’m actually enjoying revising maths then bio. Maths has rhythm, structure. Learn once and you’ll know how to do all of the questions (probably), whilst bio just seem like really bad cough medicine being roughly shoved into your mouth ( or brain in this context)

And I suppose this was my obligatory FML WHY IS EOYS IN LESS THAN A WEEK rant.

I shall go back to being unproductive now 

Reckless abandon

The literary classics are a haven for that part of us that broods over mortal bewilderments, over suffering and death and fleeting happiness. They are a refuge for our secret self that wishes to contemplate the precious singularity of our physical world, that seeks out the expression of feelings too prismatic for rational articulation. They are places of quiet, useless stillness in a world that despises any activity that is not profitable or productive.

Today was the first paper of the EOYs. As much as the essays and short answer questions sucked, I absolutely loved the actual passage itself. As I was reading through, I was silently thankful that the GP department managed to wrangle such a beautifully written article for our final paper. 

I don’t even know what to say about the article. It echoes some of my thoughts – and more into ;as the author himself would put it; rational articulation. I have always been a reader. Even as a baby, apparently I was inseparable from books, maybe ruining one or two when I was flipping through them with porridge in my hands.

There has never been a period in my life where I have disliked or found reading to be a chore. It’s an escape, a drug, therapy… everything good about life basically. You escape by yourself for a bit, maybe playing some good music along the way, immersing yourself into the author’s world.

Some books suck you in right from the very first page, some gradually build up momentum… and the best are books that you can read ten times over and not get bored of. I am honestly glad that I’ve found at least 3 books with that kind of spell over me. 

The author does bring up a very valid point though, more often than not, education ruins the love that a person can have for a subject. It’s two completely different things- to become fascinated by something, and see that very same thing get squashed and compacted into horrid tests that force you to swallow it in the most unpalatable way. 

And yet, for literature it was a whole different thing. Sure, staying back whilst everybody could go home was the most horrible thing, and there were a couple of times where I didn’t want to go for Elit lessons, but at the end of the day, I loved the prose that we could get to analyse. If anything, it made me love literature more. Speaking of which, I figured I should get more into the classics. First thing I shall do after exams are over is to go borrow a ton of books, and maybe buy some to add to my bookshelf. 

http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424127887323823004578595803296798048.html i can’t afford to lose this article 

Let’s be alone together

Call me judgmental, but I think that people who are ignorant are honestly in great need of updating themselves. If you’re talking to me and you say things that make it seem that you couldn’t give a damn what’s happening in the world besides your little bubble, there’s a 99% chance that I’m wondering why are we even friends in the first place. 

That’s a really major flaw in people at school. They are too sheltered, and their whole lives revolve around themselves, their friends and schoolwork. Sure there are exceptions, but rarely. Or at least that’s my opinion.

Too many of them are so willing to show that they really don’t know anything about the world- as if it’s something to be proud of. Be it that they can’t be bothered, don’t have the time too… the list of excuses goes on and on. And I honestly can’t find a legitimate reason for them to be that way. That’s the world that we’re all going to enter in a couple of years- around 6 to be exact. How the hell are you going to make it if you don’t even have the most basic of information. 

Oh help me how long more do I have to be stuck with people like this.